Saturday, May 31, 2008

Cleaning House with AADD

I woke up this morning with a desire to organize my kitchen. The cabinets are all in a disarray, and I figured that if I dedicated an hour or so, I could get it all done and feel really good about lazing away the rest of the day.

But as I started to get out of bed, I noticed that I had a lot of dust starting to accumulate on the ceiling fan above my bed. So, I went to get a duster.

When I got into the laundry room where the duster was located, I noticed that I had almost enough whites for a load, but I knew that there were some towels and socks in my bathroom floor that were white and should be added to the wash, so I went to get them.

Once I got in my bathroom, I started realizing that maybe I should take a shower before I did the laundry, since I might not have enough hot water for the shower if I started the laundry first.

But before I took a shower, I knew I should go sweep the front porch before it got too hot outside, and so that if I got dirty sweeping, it would all wash off in the shower. So, I went to get the broom.

As I was about to open the front door, I saw that my neighbor Brian was edging the grass next to the sidewalk in front of my house and his. So I put the broom down and went back to the kitchen to get him a bottle of water to thank him for his hard work.

When I got to the refrigerator, I remembered that I was supposed to be working on my kitchen cabinets. So, I quickly pulled all of the items out of the two lowest shelves and put them on the counter.

Then, I remembered Brian and the water, so I left that all behind and got the bottle of water and started towards the door. But then, I remembered that I hadn't yet brushed my teeth, and I didn't want to offend the neighbor with bad breath, so I went back to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

On entering the bathroom, I saw the whites that I meant to put in the wash, so I grabbed those up and started back to the laundry room. But I had too much in my hands at that point, so I started dropping stray socks and washcloths down the hallway as I walked, but I knew that if I tried to bend down and pick them up, I would drop it all, including the bottle of water that was probably getting warm tucked under my arm.

So, the items that made it to the laundry room were tossed in the washer, and I went to get a new bottle of colder water for Brian. And since I figured that if I didn't get out there soon, he would be finished and back inside and my small gesture of thanks would be lost. Remembering that I hadn't brushed the teeth, I said to Hell with it, grabbed a peppermint from one of the bags that I had pulled from the cabinet and put on the counter top, popped it in my mouth, prayed it would cover the morning breath, and made it out the door just as he was finishing up and took him the water.

Yay! One thing accomplished.

Of course, then I sat outside and talked to him for about 10 minutes, and by that time I was getting hot and sweaty. I really needed the shower. So, I abandoned the broom and went back inside the house. And a fly followed me in.

I tried to ignore him, figured he'd be dead on his own soon enough, but he kept buzzing around me as I went into the laundry room to pull a clean towel for the shower out of the dryer from the load I did four days ago, but never got around to folding and storing. And there, I see my duster. Which I needed for something, but now don't really remember what.

So, I carry the fresh towel and the duster with me back to my bathroom (where the fly follows me) and I finally swat him down with the duster and daze him enough to finish him off.

After disposing of the carcass, I wash my hands, and I see my toothbrush just as the mint is wearing off, so I brush after washing my hands.

Yay! Two things done.

I start to turn on the water for the shower, but then decide maybe to go back to the kitchen and try to make some more progress on the cabinets - again, if I'm going to get dusty and use cleaning products, it might be best to do it before I shower, so that I won't have to repeat the shower when I'm finished cleaning.

So, I get up on my step ladder to get things out of the higher cabinet shelves, at which point I have a horrible attack of Vertigo (the sickness, not the movie) and fall off the ladder. Luckily, it only has two steps, but still it freaked me out.

At that point, I'm so dizzy that I need to go lie down. So I stumble back into my bedroom and fall back onto the bed.

And as I'm lying there, staring at the ceiling fan, I remember why I needed the duster.

That was the last thing that went through my mind before I fell back asleep.

Needless to say, the day is almost halfway over, and I haven't washed the whites, folded the towels, swept the porch, dusted the fan, or taken a shower and everything in my kitchen is sitting out on the counters.

But at least I have fresh breath.

1 comment:

Bonnie said...

Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!