I Want a Do Over

One working day into the year and I already want a do over.

I had resolved to start the year by setting the clock a half hour early, to allow plenty of time for me to make breakfast at home and prepare a lunch. This would help me save money by not eating out, and would be healthier for me since I wouldn’t be eating as much junk.

So of course, I woke up this morning at 8:30 (30 minutes past when I’m due in at work) with my alarm clock flashing at me. Unexplained power outage during the night. Since I had to rush out the door, homemade breakfast and packed lunch were quickly forgotten.

Then I am stopped by the police on my way to work. Now, I only work ½ mile from my house. And yet I still manage to get pulled over for running a red light. Only, there was no red light. There was a stop sign - which I stopped at. There was a red light 80 feet down at another intersection. But where I pulled out, there was only a stop sign. Which I stopped at. And waited for two other cars on the main road to pass before I pulled out. But apparently, there is a special invisible red light that only this one cop can see. Cause to every one else in the world - there is only a stop sign at the intersection of Harding and Virginia.

To make the experience all the more enjoyable, he pulls me over as I'm pulling into my office building entrance, and so all my coworkers, boss, etc. get to witness me standing there with the police as they arrived at work for the day. Now I am my father's child - I very much respect authority figures and am always polite to the police. So when I was accused of running a red light, I told him (nicely) that I pulled out at Harding, where there is a stop sign, and not at Rainey, which is where the light is. So then he tells me that there are red lights at both streets and that I was obviously lost and probably had no idea where I was going and just didn't notice the red light. I explained that I only lived one street over from Harding, and that I drove that road every day to work, so I wasn't lost, and that I knew that it was a stop sign. And he told me that he didn't give a damn where I lived, that he patrolled that street every day and he knew it was a red light. So at this point, I was starting to get a little upset, and I offered to ride back down the 100 yards to the street and show him that it was a stop sign. Well, that really made him mad (I guess since it would ultimately prove him wrong) and then he threatened to take me in and have me tell it to the judge. But then thankfully, he started backing down off of it and said he would just let me off with a warning, and to not run the red light (WHERE THERE IS NO RED LIGHT) anymore.

By the time I get into my office, I am shaking. Both from the 18 degree cold and the whole being pulled over and threatened with jail for no reason. And so, as I start signing into my computer, I see something red all over my keyboard and I realize that my finger is bleeding all over the place. And not just a little bit, it was bleeding bad. I think it must have been from when I smashed my finger putting my suitcase in the overhead bin a few days earlier. I ended up with what looked like a bruise, but apparently was a blood blister of sorts, and it must have burst when I hit the keyboard, is all I can figure.

So, at that point I had only been awake for 30 minutes and was late for work, pulled over and threatened with jail, hungry and bleeding. Not really an auspicious start to my new year. Although, maybe like in Garp, my year was just being predisastered and now that I have all the crap out of the way for 2008. Nothing bad can happen to me again for the rest of the year.

Or maybe I'll just have to start over next week and have a New New Year, and try to start all of my resolutions over again.

Of course, that will sort of blow my "I will not procrastinate" resolution.