1. I have compiled a list of all of you political candidates who have left multiple recorded voice mail messages requesting my vote, and swear that I will vote against you all just out of spite. Especially you, Lawrence A. Cooper, who has called me so many times (and many so early that I was still asleep) that I have lost count. I only wish that I was a dead Democrat, because then I could vote against you multiple times.
2. After a certain age, getting drunk and acting like an ass at every single gathering you attend is not very becoming. Face it - college was over 20 years ago - so it is about time to grow the hell up.
3.
4. If you must continue your cell phone conversation in the stall in a public restroom, please do not get irritated with those of us that disrupt your conversation when we flush.
5. When you get a large cash or unrestricted stock bonus from your company, quit your complaining about how "the company" was unfair to take out taxes. The company does not tax you - the government does. And if you are that unhappy with the 'only $5,000' you got - I will be happy to relieve you of the burden.
Man, do I sound grouchy, or what? I think I've just been pushed to the limit in the last week or two. Hopefully, this venting will help.
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6 comments:
1. This is why we don't have a home phone.
2. Gross and true.
3. ?
4. LOL I experience this all the time, as I work on the same floor as the sororities...they never stop talking. Ever. I always feel bad when I flush. Sometimes I flush twice for spite, though.
5. Yeah...there's no such thing as a bonus in my line of work. You're speaking a foreign language.
Glad you're back!
Heather - there is never a number 3. I really have forgotten why.
Sometimes you just don't need a number three...
When I hear cell phone conversations in a public bathroom I always flush continuously until they leave. I know that every time I waste a gallon of water I kill an endangered animal but I like to piss in a relative state of urinal zen.
This is totally gross, but this is related to your #4...I remembered today that I hate when I walk into a bathroom and someone has pooed (or is pooing), and they've stunk it up and they leave before I finish doing number one, then when I get out to wash my hands and another person walks in, they assume because I'm the only one in there I caused the stink. As if! I always carry body spray to prevent such an instance, but I never have to nerve to spray it over my stall onto the culprit...
i never got a call from a candidate this election season, but I must have gotten 10,000 emails from various political movements (staring at move on.org and their bastard email bots). And I try to flush and make groaning sounds when I know someone is on the phone. YOu know, play it up. "Who does number 2 work for????"
As far as #3, its not there, and though I have no idea why it left, dammit, he is gone. Like 9. 9 is gone as well. cause seven ate him.
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